{"id":1018,"date":"2017-08-31T20:52:50","date_gmt":"2017-09-01T01:52:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/?p=1018"},"modified":"2017-08-31T21:01:01","modified_gmt":"2017-09-01T02:01:01","slug":"luddites-of-gich-part-3","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/2017\/08\/31\/luddites-of-gich-part-3\/","title":{"rendered":"Luddites of Gich, Part 3"},"content":{"rendered":"<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;It was those luddites,&#8221; Heldeb grumbled. &#8220;They&#8217;ve got themselves some new old-fashioned contraption. An impossibly loud one.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">These remarks were directed toward a nebrium-plated breakfast droid, which, detecting Heldeb&#8217;s frustration, extended two shiny pseudopods to rub his temples.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;Gich is a forward-thinking planet,&#8221; Heldeb continued. &#8220;We have the greatest scientists in the Dabalrlaba Sector. Our technology is envied throughout outer space.&#8221; He stared into the breakfast droid&#8217;s optical sensor. &#8220;I heard a joke the other day: What does an unemployed Gicher get his grandmother for her 250th birthday?&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">The breakfast droid stared back.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;A bathode co-deprocessor!&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Heldeb forced a stifled chuckle. The droid did not react. Heldeb coughed, frowned, sighed.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;I know, it&#8217;s an unfair stereotype. But the point is valid: There&#8217;s no place for luddites in Gicher culture. Those women would be happier on Hed, living in the jungle, hunting raptorshives for dinner. Down here they&#8217;re just a nuisance.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">The breakfast droid, sensing that its duties would be somewhat protracted on this particular morning, began to extrude an additional sausage link.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;I sound like an old fogey, don&#8217;t I? So quick to decry the luddism of youth. I&#8217;m sure I would have been as excited as they are about that antique robot when I was their age. Of course, when I was their age, that robot wouldn&#8217;t have been an antique.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Heldeb accepted the sausage and took a tiny bite. His distant look, his zestless chewing, the dilation of his pupils and his dual heartrates: The breakfast droid recorded all these data, analyzed and synthesized them, and concluded that it was necessary to brew 71% of a cup of coffee.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;I guess&#8230;&#8221; Heldeb set his fork on the plate. His eyes lit up. The breakfast droid executed a quick recalculation. He gritted his teeth, picked up his fork. He sighed. He set his fork down again. The droid emitted an inaudible screech.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;That&#8217;s what it is. Those girls just remind me of how old I am. They remind me of how lame I was, when I was their age. And they have each other.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">Now Heldeb looked up, across the room, at a framed holocameo, covered with a black veil and draped by red Himmerian lilies. The lilies had been dusted with solid malgesite: They would never pale, never wilt. The holocameo would last forever, too, but in recent years Heldeb rarely lifted the black veil.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">The breakfast droid decided to print an extra coffee cup, just in case. Heldeb turned toward the window. The luddites&#8217; habi-dome was a refracted congeries of shimmering shapes. It would be unrecognizable to anyone who didn&#8217;t have to look at it every day.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;Maybe I&#8217;m the one who should move,&#8221; said Heldeb. &#8220;Maybe, if things were different, I could be a different person. Maybe I could be happier.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">The breakfast droid absorbed these thoughts in silence. Heldeb sipped his coffee. It was perfect.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">&#8220;Thanks, breakfast droid,&#8221; he said.<\/p>\n<p class=\"p1\">There was no need for the droid to respond, and it did not.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>&#8220;It was those luddites,&#8221; Heldeb grumbled. &#8220;They&#8217;ve got themselves some new old-fashioned contraption. An impossibly loud one.&#8221; These remarks were directed toward a nebrium-plated breakfast droid, which, detecting Heldeb&#8217;s frustration, extended two shiny pseudopods to rub his temples.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[14,6,7],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1018","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-gich","category-jokes","category-prose"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1018","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1018"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1018\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1020,"href":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1018\/revisions\/1020"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1018"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1018"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1018"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}