{"id":390,"date":"2014-05-16T14:36:50","date_gmt":"2014-05-16T19:36:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/?p=390"},"modified":"2014-05-16T14:37:39","modified_gmt":"2014-05-16T19:37:39","slug":"geof-the-knifer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.rcveeder.net\/blog\/2014\/05\/16\/geof-the-knifer\/","title":{"rendered":"GEOF THE KNIFER"},"content":{"rendered":"
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A Twitter Novel<\/h1>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n
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by @<\/span>rcveeder<\/a><\/h3>\n
Copyright Ryan Veeder MMXIV<\/h5>\n

Geof tested the blade of his knife with his tongue. It tasted bad.<\/p>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n

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“But bad is just the way I like it,” Geof said, “for I am a knifer of men.” Geof\u2014a bad man\u2014knifed for pleasure, not for justice or for pay.<\/p>\n

Geof’s wife wished her husband would stop committing these crimes. At night, she’d look out her window, hoping she wouldn’t see a knifing.<\/p>\n

A shriek cut like a knife through the night. But it was not Geof who had knifed this time. The shrieker was Geof himself\u2014a knife in his eye.<\/p>\n

With his unknifed eye Geof saw the cackling form of his attacker\u2014the Knifer of Knifers, in a black leather trenchcoat and black leather hat.<\/p>\n

Geof lay there in a bleeding pile and swore an oath: “I will have vengeance on the leather-lover, and my own knife will taste his guts.”<\/p>\n

“You mustn’t knife another man,” his wife forbade, with loving arms around her husband wrapped.<\/p>\n

“I swore an oath,” cried bleeding Geof.<\/p>\n

Down the city streets strode Geof, a mission of dark and heinous justice on his tongue and lips. He sought the Knifer-Knifer doggedly.<\/p>\n

He strode into a bar.<\/p>\n

“I see on that hat rack a hat that I have seen before,” he said, “But which my knif\u00e8d eye shall never see again:<\/p>\n

“A leather hat!”<\/p>\n

Geof crept along the bar with a watchful look in his good eye. He knew his quarry was near, lurking and drinking in the darkness.<\/p>\n

And in the dimmest corner of the place\u2014sure enough!\u2014he found the man. His leather back was turned toward Geof.<\/p>\n

Geof knifed at that man.<\/p>\n

But the sharpest knife\u2014the surest aim\u2014the foulest rage could not have pierced that leather coat. Geof’s blow glanced off nonlethally.<\/p>\n

The man in the leather trenchcoat turned around.<\/p>\n

“You thought yourself a Knifer-Knifer-Knifer, hm?”<\/p>\n

He plucked the knife from Geof’s hand.<\/p>\n

Geof’s wife found him on the barroom floor, with his own blood on his lips, with no knife in his hand.<\/p>\n

“Oh, Geof,” Geof’s wife wailed. “You wouldn’t listen.”<\/p>\n

THE<\/h1>\n

END<\/h1>\n

Copyright Ryan Veeder MMXIV<\/h5>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n<\/div>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

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